Establishing rapport creates an environment of trust, confidence and participation.
Remember: “if you ain’t got rapport, you ain’t got nothing…”.
Mastery of rapport skills – allows you to get on with anyone anywhere
– greatly increases your confidence and effectiveness – makes it easier
for others to communicate with you.
General points about rapport skills:
The dance of rapport is what we do naturally.
It allows you to join the other person in their Model of the World.
Rapport needs flexibility of thought and behaviour
Notice what happens when people get on well. They tend to match.
Notice the opposite, when people are in disagreement, they mismatch.
Notice when you are not getting on well with someone and try matching.
Make it easy for others to communicate with you by practising rapport.
Notice how you feel when you are matching different people.
Ask yourself, “How will I know when it is time to get in rapport?”.
Experience the world as others do:
Rapport makes them and their experiences/difficulties/joys much
more understandable. We get all sorts of information from body and
voice that is not there in the words.
Notice when you are uncomfortable matching – use that as an
opportunity to stretch yourself, choose that as homework/practice,
seek out people who behave in that way to develop your own flexibility.
Liking the other person is not a prerequisite for rapport. Mutual
confidence in competence for the task in hand is. If credibility
for the task in hand cannot be established, consider changing the
task or person.
The Three Skills
To produce any result you want you need only master the following
Outcomes – know what you want, or be willing to make it up.
Awareness of feedback – Sensory Acuity – notice the results that
you are getting.
Flexibility of thought and behaviour – keep changing what you are
doing, Using feedback, to guide you until you achieve the results
that you want.
The rest of NLP gives more practical skills on every aspect of this